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8 Thoughts That Hedwig Maybe, Probably, Most Definitely Had While Harry Was at Hogwarts

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Kate Krug

Contributor

Kate is a 2011 Drake University grad, where she received her BA in magazine journalism. A hopeless romantic with a cynical heart, Kate will read anything that comes with a content warning, a love triangle, and a major plot twist. Twitter: @katekrug Blog: http://snarky-yet-satisfying.com

When we all think about sassy characters in the Harry Potter universe, I think there’s been a giant oversight.

All hail Queen Hedwig.

“Hmm…okay, buddy. I know I’m a fantastic friend, but I don’t want to hear about your problems anymore.”

“Um, excuse me, bitch. It’s HEDWIG’s Theme not Harry’s Theme. Carry your own damn mail.”

“In case it’s not obvious, Mr. Potter, I am seriously judging you for the amount of creeping you’re doing right now.”

“Oh NO! This genius plan backfired?! I did NOT see this coming. Stealing a car is always a FANTASTIC idea. It’s not like owls are supposed to be WISE or anything. PLEASE by all means ignore the furry creature in the backseat.”

“Yes, Harry. PLEASE run straight at a brick wall with me at the front of the trolley.”

“I am fucking majestic. Look at this bad-ass plumage. Hear me roar.”

“Look at this fool.”

“You’re running into the face of danger and going after Voldemort again?! Byeeeeeeee.” (Yes, I know she comes back and saves him—but it kills her, so…)