Just Relax: Here Are 10 Bookish MST3K Episodes
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The premise of Mystery Science Theater 3000 is simple: a couple of mad scientists keep shooting their low-level employees—first Joel, then Mike—into space and forcing them to watch bad movies as part of a science experiment. Both Joel and Mike endure with the help of their snarky robot pals, Crow T. Robot and Tom Servo. Sound a little weird? You should see the movies they review!
Some of the terrible movies featured on the show have literary connections, because hey, not all book-to-film adaptations can be The Godfather. I’ll be looking at a few of these today. And if any of the episodes mentioned here pique your curiosity, you’re in luck! Most of them are available for free (in North America, anyway) on Shout Factory’s website. Happy riffing!
Legendary Greco-Roman hero Heracles/Hercules has had quite a few not-so-legendary screen adaptations. MST3K eviscerated several of them, including Hercules Unchained, Hercules and the Captive Women, and Hercules Against the Moon Men. Keep an eye out for the sandstorm scene in that last one. It’s real blink-and-you’ll-miss-it.
Ian Fleming’s James Bond novels have inspired a highly successful, decades-long film franchise. That’s the good news. The bad news is that the success of those films led to this shameless knockoff. Highlights include the Shirley Bassey soundalike during the opening credits and the film’s badly dubbed “star,” who is none other than Sean Connery’s brother.
The Castle of Fu Manchu
Fu Manchu is an awful villain invented by the awful Sax Rohmer in 1912’s awful The Mystery of Dr. Fu-Manchu. Yet, somehow, Fu Manchu remained a popular antagonist for decades, including in this poorly paced, poorly lit dumpster fire of a movie. It’s so racist that Crow and Servo were reduced to tears in the first 20 minutes.Hamlet
Not even the Bard is safe from the ‘bots! This 1961 adaptation was made for German television on a budget smaller than your second grader’s school play. It’s bleak to look at (backgrounds? What are those?) and so dreadfully dull that even Mike and the ‘bots struggle to come up with good quips.Hercules ________
This looks promising!
Lost Continent
Do you like rock climbing? You won’t after watching this ultra low budget B-movie that’s loosely based on Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s The Lost World. Despite the presence of the sensational Cesar Romero, this dismal film is slow enough to bore a snail (or at least make poor Joel scream at the screen in frustration).Merlin’s Shop of Mystical Wonders
We all know the story of how Merlin trained Arthur to become a legendary king. But I’ll bet you didn’t know the story of how he ran a curio shop in northern California! Merlin’s Shop of Mystical Wonders tells that tale in Princess Bride fashion, but with disappointing nightmare fuel instead of timeless charm.Operation Double 007
“Meh, close enough,” shrugged the Italian movie studio.
